When you first move in with the man or woman you love, you never imagine that it won't work out. However, life happens, people change, and relationships end. Now, you have to deal with the fallout, and the inevitable breakup move. When you and your significant other have lived together for a long period of time, you likely have purchased household items together in addition to the items that you brought to the home as individuals. This makes handling your move to a new place that much more complicated. In order to navigate the murky waters of the breakup move, keep these important tips in mind, and your breakup move will proceed as smoothly and seamlessly as possible.
Do Not Include The Move Out Talk With The Breakup Talk
When you decide to break up with your partner, whether it is semi-amicable or not, you may feel a need to just get all of the unpleasantness over at once. However, in your rush to talk about everything all at once, you may overwhelm your partner with too much information. This overload can lead to strong animosity and bitterness that can make the whole move-out process that much more difficult.
So, if you do bring up the necessity of a change in residences, do so briefly and only once. Simply mention that the two of you will need to discuss the issue at a later date, and leave it alone. This will show your partner that you are willing to have a neutral discussion about the issue, but that you also respect their need for time to process, and the later division of assets will be that much simpler.
Handle "The Talk" The Right Way
Emotional neutrality is the key to handling the move-out talk the right way. You cannot approach the situation aggressively or with a selfish, negative attitude if you want the process to go smoothly and quickly.
When you and your partner purchased household items together, you cannot reasonably expect to keep everything and leave your former partner with nothing. So, approach the talk with that reality in mind. Ask your partner what the three most important items are to them, the ones they want to keep above all others, and proceed from there.
If you both have a strong attachment to the same pieces, try to compromise and remember to keep your emotions out of the equation. The talk will not necessarily be easy, and you may not get everything you want, but a fair division of assets can occur if you are willing to work with your former partner so that you both get some of what you want.
When The Day Of The Move Arrives, Use Household Movers
To ensure that the process remains amicable and that drama does not ensue, you should hire a neutral party to carry out the actual labor of moving your possessions from the common home. Label all of your boxes and the furniture that you determined is yours to take with a clear indicator so that the movers can easily determine what to take and what to leave behind. This can be initials, a specific color coding system, or anything you would like as long as it is easy to see and recognize.
Be sure to let your former partner know the day and time you plan to move out. This will ensure that they can be there (if they so choose) to see that you are only taking the agreed upon property and are not trying to sneak away with anything that is not yours to take. This last act of respectfulness will finalize the breakup move and leave you on the most pleasant terms possible.
While breaking up with your partner is never easy, the breakup move does not have to be a dramatic and cantankerous power struggle. If you take these basic steps, your post-breakup household moving experience will be as amicable and smooth as possible.